I have currently been plagued with angry feelings toward someone I am close to. The angry feelings are not allowing me to experience the level of happiness I want to maintain. My anger stems from this person not doing something I want them to do—it’s totally ego oriented in my case. I know that I must acknowledge my anger and then take my feelings out in other ways such as brisk walking and exercising. Recognizing that I cannot impose my will on others just for my own ego’s sake is the way to go. Yet, the ego is strong.
My approach is to trick my ego and indirectly nudge it to consider other points of view about the person I am angry with—important benefits I have reaped from being involved with this person. Once I do so, my anger can dissolve. I love this person and want to always regard them in the very best light. I want to feel peace and satisfaction and happiness in all aspects of my life.
So, during my walk the past few mornings, I thought only of the good deeds this person has done for and with me and all the wonderful interactions we have had. I called up details from memory about as many as I could think of in the time given. Then I visualized the person as happy and joyful—and concentrated on their aspect in general, refusing to let any feelings of anger enter in during this time. I also ‘sent’ them happy loving thoughts–mental express mail.
I then used the joy of nature’s beauty to soothe me and foster my good feelings toward this person. Here are a few pics I took of gifts from a neighbor to the world around him— beautiful flowers with the ability to infuse the mind and senses with the wonder and appreciation of nature’s glory.
I walk several miles/40 minutes in the morning 4-5 times per week. Using my approach, I focused on resolving my anger for at least 30 of those 40 minutes. In the end, I came to a better place with my feelings and where I stand in relation to this person. I can still have surges of anger about the issue before me, but I refuse to focus on the bad feelings. Instead, I immediately jump over to the positive and pleasant aspects of our relationship and the many benefits I experience there. If you are ever having similar challenges, I hope you will consider my approach—maybe it will work for you.
If you have a better way, I would sure like to hear about it.
Hope Your day is filled with Happiness!–Judy
Happiness Gal 